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2011-04-29 [Duredhel]: Ok the char is not bad, but there's some things I'd retouch. As usual, the power, I'd say tone it down a bit and set up a scale. For example, no friggin way she can kill someone by blowing a kiss. Maybe if she touches you for a split second, you feel nauseous and dizzy, a few seconds you get a headache and lose your balance, a minute might make you pass out, and a few minutes could put you in a coma or kill you. Toxins can also build over time so several small touches can count as a big one. The other thing is... she hasn't had a normal conversation with anyone since she was 14... who the hell tattoo'd her? I've worked at a parlor and we didn't tattoo a 14 year old on their own. What's more, since her power started out early, she could've killed the tattoo artist. Also, there's nothing in her history to indicate she'd even know how to handle a gun or a bow and arrow. These are both tools that require training to be used appropriately or a lot of practice. I doubt she's had any of those, specially at 17 and without having had constant interaction with someone. Daniela, for example, has a gun but she just found it, she's a horrible shot, she closes her eyes and looks away when she shoots and the recoil sends it shooting up. So yah, look into that.
2011-04-29 [La Luna]: OKay, Thanks Dur, I'll work on it.
2011-04-29 [La Luna]: Like this?
2011-04-29 [Duredhel]: Aye, it looks good. What kind of gun does she use tho? if her dad took her hunting, I imagine it's not a pistol.. can an 11 year old handle the recoil of a rifle? :/.
The other thing is "She has never even gotten her first kiss yet many have tried." It strikes me as Mary-sueish (but I might be wrong). What kind of world is this where people try to kiss girls that won't talk to them? In any case, neither of those are deal breakers, so I say it's good, not perfect, but good.
2011-04-29 [La Luna]: Ah, yeah, I get it That kiss thing was from before I had other stuff, forgot to take it out xP
2011-05-01 [Duredhel]: So... what exactly happened between Light & Magnolia for her to think the former is an egotistic bitch? O,o
... remember RPing 101... character's can't read other character's sheets.
2011-05-01 [La Luna]: She watches others interact and Light usually acts like that
2011-05-01 [Duredhel]: She does? O,o
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